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My Parents Love: a speech to my Parents on their 50th wedding anniversary

Jul 19, 2013

On July 6 my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and this is the speech I gave.

As I started writing this speech I thought I would do a little research to learn more about marriage.

Who could I ask? I went to my old reliable... the internet... since everything on there is of course true.

I started at Wikipedia, but that was too boring.

Next I went to twitter to see what I could learn there. Sure enough some kind people had contributed their thoughts!

  • "The longest recorded marriage in history lasted 91 years and 12 days."
  • "Too Young for Marriage, Too Old for Games, Too Smart for Players"
  • "Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag containing 99 snakes and one eel. You may get the eel, but the odds are against you."
  • "There are only 3 times when it is appropriate for one's name to appear in a newspaper: birth, marriage, death. All else is scandal."
  • "Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred..."

... and finally I thought this one was particularly appropriate for tonight:

  • "No matter how long you're married, there will always be an opportunity to learn more about your spouse. Don't settle for what you already know. Keep learning."

I found lots of other things as well, but most of it I can't repeat here tonight.

Next I thought, "Rather than reading from random individuals maybe I'll see what some famous people had to say."

  • I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner
  • I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year. Bette Davis
  • There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. Clint Eastwood
  • The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods. Bill Cosby
  • Marriage destroyed my relationship with two wonderful men. Marilyn Monroe
  • Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. Jerry Seinfeld

Finally I decided to go to the experts to see what they think. I asked my parents a few questions. Lets call this the not so newlywed game.

Question #1 : Where was your first date? They both said "A walk over Champlain bridge"... and my dad was very specific adding they only got half way, stopped for a drink and walked back.

Question #2 : What was your first job? They both answered correctly. My mom's first job was a government stenographer (I had to look up on the internet what a stenographer was)! Dad's was peeling potatoes at the Dow's Lake boat house.

Question #3: What was your favourite trip together? It was unanimous, Hawaii. (I did notice that trip was not a family trip nor was I even on it!).

Question #4: Which of your bad habits around the house most annoy your spouse? They both knew what really pushed the other's buttons. My mom apparently leaves her dishes on the table... My dad leaves his jeans on the bedroom floor. Both pretty tame bad habits!

Question #5: How many girlfriends or boyfriends did you have before meeting each other? I found it funny that they both thought the other had only had 1 but that they had had 2. My dad added that when they met my Mom was only 15 so I don't think she had that many!

In the end I decided we have some great leaders to follow as Amy and I approach our 10 year anniversary this October. Amy's parents celebrated their 42nd anniversary a few days ago and of course mine are celebrating their 50th tonight.

Congratulations Mom and Dad ... Join with me in toasting my parents, wishing them many more anniversaries still to come.

Thanks to my wife for her help in writing this. She will always have a better way with words than me.

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